Breaking Fear, Rompiendo Temor

El articulo en español aparece al final del texto de inglés.

"We are tired of our own discourse, of others, of those who tell us a new society can only come with the eternal silence of the nameless bodies …. We choose the language of the art, we trust in its capacity to touch the most profound fibres of humans and that it will produce the arrival of the necessary words, cause us to question our images and social representations."

We transformed the plaza into a visual living memory of 800 victims. I saw before me, using the strength of my imagination, the lives that might have been, the pain of families and friends. I saw people take timid steps to look at their history, to walk slowly past the tombs reading the narrative, talking quietly with their companion.

I also saw products of fear. People walked past with their head down, or straight ahead, refusing to engage, scared of who might be watching. The organisers of the event spoke to me of peoples fear. Some spoke of fear as though it were some inherent quality in the characteristics of people in this region rather than a very human response to a policy of state terrorism.

Others compared themselves to other places where social movements have overcome fear and refused to be quiet. A new friend spoke to me about his frustration at watching the popular uprising in Greece in December unfold after the murder of just one person by the police and asks why not here? In 2008 alone 175 people were murdered by the army and then presented as guerrilla killed in combat, known as false positives a horrific crime against humanity.

Others speak of the proficiency of the Colombian oligarchy at producing fear and terror. The number of Colombians “disappeared” during Uribe’s first term exceeds the total number of Chileans that vanished during Pinochet’s entire 17-year military dictatorship. And the disappearances continue. In 2008 1015 people were disappeared, four times greater than in 2007. The country’s armed forces are suspects in more than 90% of these cases, according to the Prosecutor’s office.[1]

Everyone wants to know what will it take for people to overcome fear and just say enough.

Today was a simple act. It was inspired by Las Madres del Primero de Mayo who carried out symbolic non-violent actions to bring about public awareness. It was inspired by similar events that have taken place across Colombia in recent months.

Y~ was happily surprised by Sogamoso this day, by their willingness to stop, take time to look, to chat, to participate in the candlelit vigil at dusk. I had taken peoples reactions, stopping to look, as normal, but she had been skeptical during the two months of preparation that people would respond positively; that people would dare to respond. That they have will have deep reverberations in the people of Sogamoso.

Despite their worries, the organisers kept focused on organising the day. I re-realised something yesterday that helped me see why– the importance of outlets for our internal frustrations, pains, anger. A small space appeared for me and suddenly thoughts, frustrations and personal learnings gushed out of me, like water inside a mountain suddenly finding a crack in the rock and pouring out in to the light. The water, carrying the memory of those killed, has begun to flow out to the light, the weight of peoples emotions pushing it out. In Sogamoso they will be back in the plaza with the 800 bricks in July, September and November.

Last night while sat chatting around a fake gas log fire on the rooftop of a swanky bar the desire for peace came up. “What kind of peace do you want?” I asked, knowing how peace is thrown around with as little clarity as the supposedly objective word “development” is in the UK. The question was thrown back at me. Peace is people not having to live in silence and fear but being able to express their torment as they wish. Peace is people receiving answers to their question of why were their loved ones killed, so that the torment of the unknown may transform to grief and acceptance and with time and love, a peace inside.

To see a photo montage from the day click here

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Rompiendo Temor, Rompiendo unas Bloques

"Estamos cansados de los discursos, los de nosotros y los de otras y otros, de escuchar a quienes aseguran que una sociedad nueva sólo podrá surgir de la impunidad y del silencio eterno de los sepulcros sin nombre y sin dolientes...Hemos recurrido a los lenguajes del arte, pues confiamos en su capacidad para conmover las fibras más profundas de lo humano para convocar el surgimiento de la palablra vital y para interpelar nuestros imaginarios y representaciones sociales."

Transformamos la plaza en una memoria viva de ochocientos muertos. Ví ante mi, con el poder de la imaginacíon, las vidas que podrían haber existido, el dolor de las familias y amigos. Ví a personas dar pasos timidos para mirar su historia , pasaron por las tumbas, leyendo las narrativas y hablando en voz baja con sus compañeros.

Tambien ví el producto del temor. Personas que pasaron mirando hacia abajo o adelante, se negaron a observar los 800 bloques blancos, asustado de quien podría estar mirarandoles. Los y las organizadores de la jornada me hablaban del temor de la gente. Algunos hablaron de temor como si fuera una cualidad inherente en la caracteristicas de la gente de Boyaca en vez de una respuesta muy humana a la politica del terrorismo del estado.

Otros hicieron compararaciones a otros lugares donde hay movimientos sociales que han logrado superar el miedo, rechazando el silencio. Un nuevo amigo me habló de la frustración al ver desarollar el levantamiento en Grecia en Diciembre despues del asesinato de solo una persona en manos de la policia y pregunta por que no pasa esto acá? En tan solo 2008, 175 personas fueron asesinados por el ejercito y presentados como bajas en la “guerra contra el terrorismo”, un crimen de estado y de lesa humanidad.

Otras hablaron de la habilidad de la oligarquia colombiana en producir temor y terror. El numero de colombianos desaparecidos durante el primer mandato de Uribe supera el total de chilenos que desaparecieron durante los 17 años de la dictadura de Pinochet. Y las desapareciones aun continua. En 2008 fueron desaparecidos 1015 personas, cuatro veces mas que en 2007. Segun la fiscalía, las fuerzas publicas estan siendo investigados en mas que 90% de los casos.[1]

Todos quieren saber que se necesita para que la gente venza el miedo y diga basta.

Hoy fue un acto sencillo.

La gente de Sogamoso le inspiraban las madres del plaza de mayo en argentina que llevaron a cabo acciones no-violentas y simbolicas para generar opinion publica. Les inspiraba actos semejantes que han occurido a través de Colombia en los ultimos meses.

Una compañera fue soprendida por Sogamoso ese día, por la voluntad de la gente a parar y tomar el tiempo de mirar, conversar, participar encendiendo las velas al atardecer. Yo asumí que las reaciones de la gente era normales pero ella había sido esceptica durante las dos meses de preparacíon. Temió que no respondieran positivamente; que no se atrevieran a responder. El hecho de hacerlo, tendrá unas hondas de repercusíones en la gente de Sogamoso y de alrededor.

A pesar de las preocupaciones, los y las organizadores seguían enfocados en organizar la jornada. Volví a darme cuenta de algo ayer que me ayudó a ver por que seguíeron y por que seguimos: la importancía de canalizar nuestras frustraciones, dolores y rabías internas. Un espacio pequeño aparecío ante mi y de pronto pensamientos, frustraciones y aprendizajes personales me salieron a borbotones, como agua dentro de una montaña que encuentra una rendija en la roca y vierte a la luz. El agua, llevando las memorias de los asesinados, corre a la luz expulsado por el peso de los sentimientos de muchas personas. En Sogamoso volverán a la plaza con 800 bloques en Julio y Septiembre.

Anoche, mientas que charlabamos alredador de una chimenea de gas en la terraza de un bar lujoso, el deseo por la paz surgío en la conversacon. “Que tipo de paz quieres?” pregunté, conociendo que la palabra paz que se utilisa con tan poca claridad. Me devolvieron la pregunta. Paz es no tener que vivir en silencio y temor sino poder expresar el tormento sin restriciones. Paz es recibir respuestas a las pregunatas del por que se asesinó su ser querido, para que el tormento de estas preguntas se pase a la aceptacíon de la perdida, y con el tiempo y el amor, una paz interna.

Para ver un video de fotos del dia haga clic aca

[1] Segun Gary Leech, un periodista de EEUU. http://www.colombiajournal.org/colombia295.htm

Nourishing our processes

He arrives just after dark in El Paso, exhausted from travelling for six hours. “On moto-taxi” I ask. “No, no, this was just the last hour from Asserío, the rest was walking” he replies. Despite time here I still forget that walking serious distances is a transport option, sometimes the only option.

We have a strong nice hug, I’m happy that we are going to be working and hanging out together again. Meeting and spending time with him at CISCA’s consultiva was a joy. We shared a very honest space; his openess and engagement with me quickly created a sincere communication between us. Recognition of who I am varies widely among the people I accompany. People acknowledge me, thank me, appreciate me but it is a me that at times I feel could be anyone, well, anyone with a white identity.

As O~ sits resting and drinking some home made equivalent of iron bru, I ask what he has been doing. Working on a finca comes the answer. Doing what I, ask without thinking. Raspando he quietly says. Doh, of course, picking coca leaves is a main source of casual work in the region. I tell him later I felt very stupid for my question. Thankfully he already knows me and laughs supportively with me.

Photo: Our hopes as young people.
More education and less work
More liberty and less violence
We were meeting for three days; 12 young people from the region, J~, an ally from a Bogota NGO and me. The aim was to look together at the problems they face as young people, their needs, wants and dreams, the organising spaces that already exist (or don’t in many cases) and based on this day long inquiry, devise a plan for the year. Bristol life felt like a continuous sequence of short term, high speed planning, with occasional bigger events requiering more time and planning. We knew why we were doing each action, we looked at the whole picture but I don feel we made thought out decision on how we wanted to use our limited resources of time, energy and money. This led, for me, to a lack of continuity and a lack of collective clarity as to how it all pieces together. The plan that they agreed on was a mixture of specific and general actions: agricultural projects, training in human rights, communications work, creating greater political spaces for young people, participating in the community councils and the highlight – a regional gathering of young Catatumberos.

I saw excitement, passion and drive in their voices. Their words have an authenticity, a normality and a good amount of humour (which I occasionally excitedly got) that is mostly lost in the older generation of leaders as they become moulded into a particular cultural style of meeting participation. The young people decided that they wanted active participation in their space and when it was not happening, wiggly hands (to show agreement) got introduced which they got well into.

I also saw moments of seriousness and concern in their faces. They talk briefly about the difficulties they will/may face: time, money, personal problems, problems from la guerrilla, obligatory recruitment in to army, paramilitary presence in the towns. O~ tells me he spent a fair bit of the 3 day meeting worrying about how he is going to earn enough to maintain his family and accomplish everything he wants to with CISCA. I spend a few hours later motivating and helping him to devise his own plan de trabajo so he stops wasting his energy stressing. I never imagined I’d momentarily I’d become a financial avisor while accompanying in Colombia, but it is in moments like these where I feel my ability to nourish their process with small details like this. This is my strength. With CISCA I spot my weakness, or less harshly, where I have the most to learn and least to contribute. CISCA are organising in Catatumbo to create and build Plans for Life, “for life, territory and integration” as the catchwords go; a project that has a long-term vision in which creation and resistance go hand in hand. It is not resistance for the sake of not wanting change; it is resistance so they can create the Catatumbo they desire, not what the rich desire.

In my motherland we are a way from collectively creating an integral vision for another Bristol, another South West and another Britain. While we are constantly visibilising and resisting facets of capitalism (climate change, war, no social housing, economic crisis…) the work is often not deeply integrated with those creating. Partially as those who are creating don’t often don’t get why we need to resist as part of this creation and write me off. Do you think it is an important goal that we try to entwine these two supposed opposites within a shared political coordinating space? Or impossible because of class backgrounds?

I feel hugely inspired (I am already lining up two months here in Europe’s summer) by how CISCA is creating a space where many different struggles, projects and visions in different parts are brought together and from this, they collectively are shaping a vision of life for the region. And this vision is ambitious, yet they are confident, proud and most of all serious when talkng about it.

Do we really have confident in ourselves when we talk about our ideas? Are we really serious that we are going to make this happen? Do we have clear what our ideas are? Are we thinking about how and what is needed to walk our words, as the indigenous and popular Minga says?

Important world matters: G20 and a child´s views

“Today I really missed you as I thought of affinity and so I go with you in mind. I will be thinking of you and the people you have met as grounding force when I am on the streets.”

Email received Monday from a dear friend as she sets off to London for the G20 protests.

In La Casa de la Red we have been keeping up to date with the protests in London. I want to give a damming critique of how, irregardless of what outcome the G20 come up with, capitalism is crisis. I see it so painfully on the streets of Bogota everyday. 300 people arrive in Bogota every day, the majority fleeing the violence, the violence imposed to re order land use, to control it so it can be handed over to one of thousands of the multinationals. I see old men, old women, men with kids, young women always always politely begging with the utmost respect. I don´t know how they keep their spirit, faces ignoring them for days after days, invisibilising them, my face turning away. Yesterday I physically kicked out, frustration, powerlessness filled me.

The moral argument goes that this economic crisis is set to increase unemployment causing misery for faceless people (in Colombia unemployment due to increase this year from 40% to 60%) so governments must do something. Yet this is a blinkered take on it, (or I could say, a historically and politically decontextualised view, if I want to use a snippet of the language of experts so I am taking more seriously. I have been reading the Times to see what the elite/my parents are thinking about the G20. The Times, exempify a problem with the UK elite: the constant rational, pseduo scientific arguments that only with those with access to high levels of education can engage with

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Arguments won before even made due to invisible privilige. Arguments then used as tools against those with visible non-privilige. I ´m not going to use my privilige today to read, intellectually think in order to engage with The Times articles about supposed benefits of the G20 decision on the twistedly-named ´developing´ countries . Nor let myself be made to feel shit by their supposed superiority of knowledge on important world matters. I have a story of importance. It is about a little girl called Lorelia.

I met Lorelia last week in the sierra of the sur de Bolivar. The adults were deep in working groups debating and fine-tuning the community standards (normas de coexistencia) that they are creating for their region. Once they have been approved by a general assembly the government must legally recognise them as autonomous community laws.

Lorelia had earlier won a game I had set a group of kids and her prize was some of the fruit salad that those of us struggling with rice and yuca three times had made. As we sat and ate together I asked if she knew what the adults were talking about, if she knew what normas were. I asked if she had any suggestions for what could change in her community to make life better for her and other children. She sure did. This seven year old told me about incidences; fights with broken bottles injuring kids, drunken drivers, rubbish being thrown everywhere (normal everywhere in Colombia but exciting to hear a kid criticising this culture), people being killed, and she easily translated these experiences into suggestions for changes. I created a political space for her within the assembly and she presented her contributions for the community standards. She was confident, articulate, awesome, inspiring.

There is a disturbing parallel between this story and government get togethers: marginalisation where both people and cultures deem certain people to be important and ignore the rest. Yet, everyone, irregardless of their education and ability to participate, has a right to participate in the shaping of policies that will affect their lives. Fortunately, Fedeagrominisbol, the Small scale miners federation, is progressive, that is they listen, learn and grow in their political processes. It was not a struggle to create a space for Lorelia and I´m confident that spaces for participation of children will grow.

With governments, marginality is a deeper rooted problem. With governments in the current period, marginalising of social organisations and the absolute centering of business is the norm. People protesting in London are creating a space in which a different philosophy can exist. Fedeagrominisbol are building a federation with the strength to defend their cultures, not a static culture, but one that is changed by the communities in ways like what I witnessed with las normas de convivencia, rather than changes made through state and para-state violence imposing a ´development´ model on them.

While Fedeagrominisbol cannot participate in the protests against the G20 and talking about people in London representing people from the Global South I hugely problematic, there is a misty familiar reflection across the pond.

At a time when my blog had begun to feel more like a habitual routine, I really feel a reaffirmation of my commitment to encouraging cross pollination of stories across borders and cultures. So more people may take strength in walking with others beside them. So Lorelia knows that up on the bleak sierra in the rains there are people elsewhere also taking responsibility and collectively figuring out ways to create and defend alternatives to this fucked up violent injust robot.